Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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