The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
