i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Never underestimate the power of titties
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
