I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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