You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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