just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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