My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
