I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize