Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
being pregnant is like rehab
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
