I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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