everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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