i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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