Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im holly from the hills drunk
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
