so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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