Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize