i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize