Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
