birth control should be required to get into college
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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