The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
