Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
