I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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