I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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