The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
