Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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