she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
