You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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