I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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