I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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