Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Everything about him screamed your future.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize