You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
