My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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