CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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