Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
