You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
