Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
