You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
