watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
