Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
