so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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