Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
