I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
