Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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