And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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