Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
