he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
