At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
