If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
