Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
