So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
