is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
