your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
