rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
