you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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