idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize