You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize