Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
