So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You are a genius and a whore.
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