being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
