don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
